I used to be really, really bad at compulsive apologizing. Like I would do some stupid trivial thing that I would need to apologize for 20+ times, usually until the other party forcibly stopped me from continuing. Like, really really bad.
I’ve gotten considerably better since then, but I’m at this point where if I actually, truly think I’m at fault, I actually can’t say that I’m sorry, because I know that if I do I won’t be able to stop and then I’ll just keep going and piss the other person off so all I can do is sort of wallow in a repentant silence and retreat into my bubble of self-hatred
and make stupid angsty text posts on my tumblruntil the situation blows over and in conclusion sometimes I’m just completely flabbergasted that people voluntarily choose to continue to associate with me
If it helps at all, I do the apologizing thing too. And I am fine. You helped me patch things up. Everything will be fine.