Welp, this answers a lot of questions.
…For fuck’s sake. The goal to make a movie that also entertains people who aren’t already fans of Star Trek isn’t a bad one, but if you’re making a Star Trek movie, you need to know Star Trek.
So, you know, Star Trek fans will also like it.
can’t this show just be nothing but data training cats
rolling with my headcanon about Federation Standard not being English
the Enterprise crew would have spoken English because there’s no Federation yet
so T’Pol obviously learned English
however, it doesn’t make sense to me that she would have as firm a grasp on English as she does, and still be confused over human cultural references (idk I explained that weird, I’ll have to go find an example another time)
canonical inconsistencies at their finest
T’Pol definitely knew English - there’s that early episode where she and Trip go crazy on that hallucinogenic pollen and T’Pol reverts to speaking Vulcan because she’s tripping so hard.
Plus, just HOW do UTs work, from the user’s perspective? Do they translate simultaneously with the original speaker? Is there a time delay to allow for different syntactical forms so there’s no grammar issue? How annoying is it for EVERYONE to have little tiny voices coming out of their commbadges while you’re all talking in a group?
I think the only time it’s treated well is in the DS9 episode where Quark and family go back in time to Roswell. Apparently, their UTs are little implants somewhere in their ears - when they crash, the UTs are disabled, and so they have to yammer in Ferengi at the Army guys until they can fix the damned things. From then on, from our perspective - which supposedly means from the perspective of the Americans with no UTs - Quark then begins speaking perfect English, which means the UT implant must somehow transmit as well as receive.
UGH NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.
The only thing I can possibly imagine it seems out of whack with most of the other tech in Star Trek. A cybernetic implant that melds with the neural network of the host. It interfaces directly with the brain, blocking out the aural input from the actual speaker, instead creating an immediate translation and tricking the brain into thinking that’s what they really heard. It wires directly into the brain in a manner that allows the user to select a manual mode, letting them choose to have the translator step in the process of transmitting commands from the brain to the mouth, too, hence letting Quark speak English when he needed to.
So, um, kind of like the babel fish, but it wires into your speech centers, too. Like I said. Out of whack with the other tech.
i am dying. i am dead. i have died.
And this, my friends, is how you advertise.
EVERYTHING about this was completely flawless.
Strangely, that has happened repeatedly to me.
For those who requested it, the single series prints of each show are now available in my Society6 shop!
Each print is sized to be the same height and width so you can have as many or as few stacked or lined up as you wish.
STARS. THE FINAL EXPLORE-Y PLACE. THESE ARE THE TRIP THINGS OF THE SPACEBOAT ENTERPIPES. ITS FIVE YEAR JOB THINGY: TO HANG OUT IN STRANGE NEW PLACES, TO HAVE DINNER WITH ALIENS AND SHIT, TO VAGUELY WANDER IN THAT DIRECTION LIKE NO ONE HAS DONE BEFORE.
If you go into a bathroom and stand in front of the mirror with the lights out, and then say “How the fuck do I open this communicator?” three times while spinning counter-clockwise, Walter Koenig will come out and personally show you.