tikaka:

clockworksexual:

iwoulddeduceyoutwice:

sugarkitteh:

bigbangpunch:

BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:

1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE

2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A

3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE

4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS

5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT

6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD

****

EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.

THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION

JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS

TAKE OFF FIRE

WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH

CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL

WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES

POUR IT OUT

ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLE

DRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE

CHEERS MATE

CANADIAN VERSION

WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?

OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS

NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.

USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!

SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL

EAT SOME BACON

THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.

DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.

TAKE A SIP.

SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.

REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.

AMERICAN VERSION

FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)

FILL IT WITH TAP WATER

ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER

STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN

DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET

POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE

REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT

ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS

FINNISH VERSION

FUCK THE KETTLE, JUST TAKE THE PAIL FROM THE SAUNA

IF THE WATER ISN’T BOILING, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG

TOSS THE BIRCH VIHTA IN THE WATER AND LET IT SEEP FOR A WHILE

GET A BOTTLE OF VODKA

DRINK THE VODKA

FORGET THE “TEA” UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN

RINSE YOUR NAKED BODY WITH THE BIRCH TEA

GO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND SCREAM FOR YOUR ANCIENT GODS

221tea:

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

AVENGERS TEAS ASSEMBLE.

Wow I dragged my feet on doing most of these for ages, but you guys were persistent and wore me down so heeeeere you go!

Bruce Banner: A calming tea on the surface, but with an overwhelming green force brewing below. [earl grey green, green pekoe, chamomile]

Tony Stark: Brash, Aggressive, and Rich. A blend at once frustrating and charming. [lapsang souchong, ginger, tiger eye]

Clint Barton: A slightly playful blend that may be hard to take very seriously, but will prove to be strictly business when under fire. [thai chai, assam melody, gunpowder]

Natasha Romanoff: A worldly blend, based off of Russian tea culture. A strong, smokey tea perfect for a busy spy. [lapsang souchong, assam melody, currant]

Thor: A deep, strong flavor, incredibly masculine, with bright notes of apricot. [ceylon sonata, apricot, toasted mate]

Loki: ‘So I am no more than another scorned idea, locked in your mental tea cabinet until you might have use of me? You could have told me it wouldn’t happen from the beginning! Why didn’t you? What, because I— I— I am the caffeinated blend parents won’t let their children try at night? You know, it all makes sense now, why you favoured Holmes all these years, because no matter how often you claim to make tea, you could never have a Frost Giant featured in your signature blends!’ [Thank you to the anonymous writer that left me this note, and prompted me to make a blend for Loki. Cool, refreshing, but just a bit dark, with a hint of floral undertones. This blend truly shines when iced.] [gunpowder, spearmint, rooibos jasmine]

Steve Rogers: As American as Apple Pie, perfectly sweet, but built for strength. [spiced apple chai, almond, assam melody]

Son of Coul: Strong, Reliable, motivating, and loyal to the end. A cup of tea worth Avenging. [toasted mate, tiger eye, chestnut] 

whatpeoplebrew:

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

YOU GUYS NEARLY 11,000 OF YOU PUT UP WITH ME ON A DAILY BASIS. You guys listen to more of my crap than my own boyfriend generally does. That deserves rewarding. So this is an extra SPECIAL tea give away, and there will be THREE winners. Oh my god. Want a chance to become one of those lucky three people? Read on and follow directions.

THE PRIZES:

• First Place Prize: A set of all seven Sherlock Shipper tea blends [Sherlock/Moriarty, Sherlock/Irene, Moriarty/Moran, Mycroft/Lestrade, Lestrade/John, Lestrade/Molly, Molly/Moriarty]
• Second Place Prize: A set of all four* Avengers Teas [Thor, Loki, Steve Rogers, and Coulson *and possibly also Tony Stark if I make a tea for him soon]
• Third Place Prize: A set of all three Doctor Who Teas [The TARDIS, Amy Pond, and Rory]
• IN ADDITION TO THE ABOVE PRIZE PACKS: Each winner will get ONE blend specially created for them. It can be a character or ship or show or book or whatever that I haven’t done that they’d like me to do. It can even be a blend made based on THEM. Whatever the winners would like. They each get to request one, and they will receive it with their other teas.

I MIGHT ADD TO THESE PRIZES. If this gets reblogged like, a lot, or something, I might lose my head and also send the winners mugs to go with their tea. Or a book. WE’LL SEE.

THE RULES: 

• Anyone ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD can enter EXCEPT AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND!! I am SUPER sorry for my followers down under because not only do you have to put up with terrifying wild life, you can’t even allow tea to be imported to help comfort you. Sorry, there’s like, crazy laws and stuff.
• You do not have to be following me to win, but it might be helpful to keep track of updates or changes (if any). Plus I plan to make some blends for other fandoms in the future, so if tea is your thing, it might not be a bad idea?
• Only two reblogs a day allowed.I did not realize how often people would reblog my last big give away soooo I’m going to enforce this LOL. You can reblog on as many days as you’d like, but yeah, only 2 reblogs a day please. I’ll be checking.
• LIKES DON’T COUNT. Sorry! You have to reblog!
  
• The give away will end and I will choose the winners on FRIDAY JUNE 1ST. I’ll probably do the drawing late at night on that day, so I’m going to say I’ll stop counting reblogs at 10 p.m. EST. Winners may not be announced until the next day or so, just to be aware!
• Here’s how the winners will be selected: Just like all of my other give aways, I’ll compile a spreadsheet or numbered list of all of the reblogs, and I’ll use the number generator on random.org to chose a number and find the corresponding username on the list. The first number I draw will win the first place prize (or, if they are more into Avengers or Doctor Who, they may chose one of the other prizes). Second number I draw will win the second place prize (or a choice between whatever two packs remain), and the third number drawn will receive the last prize!

[5/20 UPDATE] Dudes you guys are on a ROLL with this! I promised that if it hit 25k notes by the end of this weekend, I’d add another prize pack and, well, it happened. So now instead of three winners, FOUR people will win a prize. Same rules apply as before. The first place winner gets first choice of the prizes, then the second place winner, then so on. So what teas am I adding? CABIN PRESSURE!

The Lemon is in Play, Ottery Kisses, and Polar Bears are BRILLIANT!
And of course this prize pack will also come with a customized tea blend of the winners choice as well <33

Thanks so much everyone! You guys seriously are just the best, and odds are, I may end up adding another prize pack at 35K or something if it actually gets to that o_o

CHECK IT OUT GUYS, THERE’S ANOTHER PRIZE ADDED.

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

YOU GUYS NEARLY 11,000 OF YOU PUT UP WITH ME ON A DAILY BASIS. You guys listen to more of my crap than my own boyfriend generally does. That deserves rewarding. So this is an extra SPECIAL tea give away, and there will be THREE winners. Oh my god. Want a chance to become one of those lucky three people? Read on and follow directions.

THE PRIZES:

• First Place Prize: A set of all seven Sherlock Shipper tea blends [Sherlock/Moriarty, Sherlock/Irene, Moriarty/Moran, Mycroft/Lestrade, Lestrade/John, Lestrade/Molly, Molly/Moriarty]
• Second Place Prize: A set of all four* Avengers Teas [Thor, Loki, Steve Rogers, and Coulson *and possibly also Tony Stark if I make a tea for him soon]
• Third Place Prize: A set of all three Doctor Who Teas [The TARDIS, Amy Pond, and Rory]
• IN ADDITION TO THE ABOVE PRIZE PACKS: Each winner will get ONE blend specially created for them. It can be a character or ship or show or book or whatever that I haven’t done that they’d like me to do. It can even be a blend made based on THEM. Whatever the winners would like. They each get to request one, and they will receive it with their other teas.

I MIGHT ADD TO THESE PRIZES. If this gets reblogged like, a lot, or something, I might lose my head and also send the winners mugs to go with their tea. Or a book. WE’LL SEE.

THE RULES: 

• Anyone ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD can enter EXCEPT AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND!! I am SUPER sorry for my followers down under because not only do you have to put up with terrifying wild life, you can’t even allow tea to be imported to help comfort you. Sorry, there’s like, crazy laws and stuff.
• You do not have to be following me to win, but it might be helpful to keep track of updates or changes (if any). Plus I plan to make some blends for other fandoms in the future, so if tea is your thing, it might not be a bad idea?
• Only two reblogs a day allowed.I did not realize how often people would reblog my last big give away soooo I’m going to enforce this LOL. You can reblog on as many days as you’d like, but yeah, only 2 reblogs a day please. I’ll be checking.
• LIKES DON’T COUNT. Sorry! You have to reblog!
  
• The give away will end and I will choose the winners on FRIDAY JUNE 1ST. I’ll probably do the drawing late at night on that day, so I’m going to say I’ll stop counting reblogs at 10 p.m. EST. Winners may not be announced until the next day or so, just to be aware!
• Here’s how the winners will be selected: Just like all of my other give aways, I’ll compile a spreadsheet or numbered list of all of the reblogs, and I’ll use the number generator on random.org to chose a number and find the corresponding username on the list. The first number I draw will win the first place prize (or, if they are more into Avengers or Doctor Who, they may chose one of the other prizes). Second number I draw will win the second place prize (or a choice between whatever two packs remain), and the third number drawn will receive the last prize!