Communication, communication, communication.
Don’t make assumptions. Communicate.
Help each other with the little mundane tasks that none of us want to do, but are essential to daily life, like washing dishes, folding clothes, sweeping the kitchen, and things like that.
Make time for each other, no matter what else is going on in your lives.
More communication is better.
Everything worth doing in life is hard, and that includes caring for and nurturing a relationship and partnership that should last your entire life.
Also: communicate clearly with each other.
Congratulations! Being married is my favorite thing in the world.
Reblogging this because even if you’ve heard this before, it never hurts to hear it again (because memory is a fickle thing). The same also holds for a lot of other types of relationships: friendships, working relationships, doctor-patient, etc. Often we believe that if we know something, everyone else must know it too, because how could they not? We react the way we react because of a series of impressions and deductions that are perfectly logical to us; how could anyone else not have the exact same reaction?
But the truth of the matter is we’re all different, and what is logical to one will never occur to another in a thousand years. Communicating one’s feelings not only clears up any possible ambiguity, but it also helps the other person understand your thought process a bit better, so that next time it may take them only, say, eight hundred years to get what you’re thinking instead of a thousand. That’s progress!
If I have harmed anyone, in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly through my own confusions, I ask forgiveness.
If anyone has harmed me, in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly through their own confusions, I forgive them.
And if there is a situation I am not yet ready to forgive, I forgive myself for that
For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind to myself through my own confusions, I forgive myself.
|—||Buddhist Prayer (via lovelornlunatic)|
In case you’re in need of motivation, have some from the Doctor.
You can do it!
ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”
“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author.
Here’s the answer:
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this)
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!
why doesn’t this have more notes
This is so serious. If you care about someone, fucking care about them. Remember it every day. Remember it on bad days especially. Remember it in fights. Remember it when you’re happy. Appreciate it. Love it. Be it. Live it. Feel it. Cause you have no idea when it will be gone. There are only so many chances. And if you do forget and you do something stupid. You’d better fucking fight for it, fucking fight as hard as you can. As hard as you can doesn’t mean until it is a detriment to you, but until you’re sure it won’t be. True love will always be true love and if you lose it, you’re going to regret it.
unlearning problematic behavior is a long ass process
you will fuck up
handle it gracefully.
Learning anything can be messy as hell.
What people thank an animal should be kept in and what the animal actually should be kept in. (click the pictures)
Not based on personal preference, but observable fact. An animal kept in an environment that is too small is unhappy and stressed. This can absolutely lead to a short miserable life.
I see a lot of people, virtually every day, who have these preconceived notions about what an animal can live in. A hamster lives in a hamster cage of course, because the happy little hamster on the box says so! This cage is for finches, they even keep them in it at the store! My friend had a rabbit and it lived in that cage so I’ll get that one. This sort of dangerous socially accepted neglect is not just limited to bettas and goldfish. Mammals and birds are subject to it as well.
What people don’t realize is that almost all commercial or common cages are completely unacceptable as homes for what they are marketed for. Those guinea pig/rabbit cages? Garbage. Those tiny finch cages? Torture. That cute technicolor hamster cage? A gimmick.
All animals need a certain amount of space for enrichment and general well being. That does not mean the cages someone is trying to sell you. It means the cages that are best.
And to all those people who are thinking “Well I had a hamster in a cage that size and it was fine.”
You have only observed your animal. You have only observed the animal in a confined space and most likely showing signs of distress or behavioral problems. But you interpreted it as normal because that is all you know. You haven’t seen rabbits in appropriate sized cages. You haven’t seen parakeets in appropriate cages. You haven’t seen a hamster who is happy.
Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined hamsters. (The same applies to mice, gerbils, and rats):
- Biting the cage bars
- Obsessive digging
- "Laziness" (lack of foraging/exploring)
- Running in circles
Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined rabbits:
- Biting the cage bars
- Running in circles
- Bouncing off the cage walls
- Aggression, irritability when being held
- Cage aggression
- Constantly banging toys/decor around
Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined guinea pigs
- Biting the cage bars
- Banging their water bottle on the side of the enclosure constantly
- Aggression toward other guinea pigs or you
Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined parakeets
- Feather plucking
- Aggression to other parakeets
- Repetitive behaviors (constant singing into a corner, going from the same perch to the same perch over and over again)
Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined finches
- Aggression to other finches
- Flight tracing: Going from one perch to another in the exact same spot the exact same way over and over again
Animals are more complex than people give them credit for. They to do all of the natural behaviors they’re built to do. Exploring, foraging, playing, hiding, interacting (or not interacting) with another animal, etc. All of this is taken from them in cages like the ones above.
People need to educate themselves about an animal before getting one. It’s a thought that’s been said a million times over and yet nobody actually does it. The reality is people who want a hamster/guinea pig/rabbit are not going to sit down and read ten articles and three books waiting 2 months while they set everything up unless they are already enthusiasts who are willing to put that much into their pets. I can say from experience that over 80% of the people who buy pets buy them to make their kids happy with no regard to what the animal needs. What is most important to them is getting a present for their child regardless of any consequences that decision comes with.
So we have to try and get this information out there. We have to try and make THIS the general knowledge about these animals.
Resources and very good reads for anyone who has or wants any of the animals listed here. I’ll add more when I find them.
Guinea pigs: X
It is sad how many people do not actually research the proper environment for a pet before adopting. My first rat was a rescue and he came in a twenty gallon tank. My mom bought a book about rats as he was our first one and we quickly bought him a large, wire cage. The change in his mood and health was instantaneous.
In the eighteen years since we first got Mr. Tails, the only other time I’ve had a rat in a tank was a year and a half ago because my dear Cinna surprised us with a litter of ten babes and she became aggressive towards her cage mate.
People always though I was bizarre because my pet rabbit had a huge dog cage instead of the small rabbit cages you see in pet stores. My conure has a spacious cage with many toys and perches. Our guinea pig lived in two average cages we attached together to make a mega cage.
Please. Research your animals. They deserve a happy and comfortable life.
You can NEVER have a cage that is “too big”!
The world needs more professors like this.
Going nonverbal (to any extent) is difficult, frustrating, and emotionally just a mess. People don’t always understand, and it can sometimes (read:often) coincide with behaviors and feelings that are difficult to explain in the first place.
I’d like to offer my ideas for what I do as a preemptive strike for when I’m having trouble speaking, in case they can help people out.
***I must communicate that this is just my experience. When I am having trouble speaking, I usually am able to type. This is not the same for everyone and so what works for me may not work for you. If you want, though, contact me, and I can work with you to come up with some ideas that are better suited to your situation.***
- Apps are your friends. I use an app called Talk4Me. I believe it is free for the iPhone (or at least was at some point). It comes with a few set boards with various icons, but you can easily create your own, add your own pictures, and record yourself (or someone else) saying a phrase that you will need when you cannot speak. For example, one of the phrases I’ve created an icon for is, “I’m having trouble speaking today.” Then all you have to do is press the button and your phone will speak the recorded phrase.
- Another free iPhone app that I use is called Just Big Text and it is just that. You type in text (such as, “I need to take a break. I feel overwhelmed.”) and save it and then you can use it later just by tapping on a smaller version of it—your text comes up big on the screen and you can show it to people. Alternatively, you can make “quick texts,” which you just type in, then you show them to the person you’re speaking to, and then they go away once you’re finished so you don’t have to bother going through and deleting them.
- My communication necklace (a badge works too!) helps me to signal how I’m doing to the people around me and shows when I might possibly have a problem, such as being unable to speak, having a meltdown, or having a shutdown. [This and others can be purchased from Spacerobot Studio. You can make communication badges yourself and I may do a DIY how-to soon.]
- My communication bracelets can be used to quickly show what I’m trying to indicate through the use of pictures and icons. For example, I can simply point to the icon for food, and it could mean something like, “I am hungry. When are we eating?” [This bracelet and variations can be purchased from this site here.]
These are just a few ideas. If you have more, either reblog and share or let me know and I can share your ideas!
I could swear there are many posts that talk about this but oh well… Anywho…
I really felt the need to discuss this because I have felt like this before. And I know it’s difficult to talk about it out of the fear of being called selfish or “crying for attention”.
I completely disagree. It’s not a matter of acting selfish. Again it’s another self-esteem issue. Let’s face it, low self-esteem is difficult to overcome, despite what some people think.
But it can be helped. We all want to be funny, smart, clever, pretty, talented, and all that jazz. We can be those! It’s totally possible.
Get started now! Learn to laugh and develop your own sense of humor. Be up to date with current events. Dress properly and care about your appearance.
But mind you I never said it was easy or a quick-fix. Everything takes time. I know it’s difficult in this time where we want things instantly. Believe me, I am the most impatient individual. But we just have to wait and keep working.
And popularity should not be your main concern. Yes as an artist we want some recognition, but becoming popular for the sake of being popular is a negative behavior to have.
Go at your own pace. Take it step by step to be become a better individual and a better artist. Make yourself happy and learn to love yourself.
I’m working on that too. In fact I made this advise for myself as well. Everything will get be better. Don’t worry C:
Really good. I wish more people opened themselves up to these words.
Really take what’s being said in. Internalize it to its fullest, and above all believe you can be the change you want to be.