David Foster Wallace was like, Art must be sincere! We must use every tool in the linguistic toolbox to cut through sentiment and dishonest cliche and build fresh ways to reveal the power and reality of unironized emotion.
And Mister Rogers was like, Basically the same thing, but without any shame or pretense or fear of sincerity.
it really is
Harmful message is harmful.
Children are not magical. They’re ignorant. They often do hurtful things because they honestly don’t know any better. They lack perspective and critical thinking and advanced social skills. ‘Childhood innocence’ so fondly desired by a segment of society recalls -being ignorant of reality-.
Growing up is awesome. You get all this perspective and personal agency and the building blocks of wisdom. Some people get it early in life (lest anyone think this is an ageist rant), yes, but they’re generally not the people who fondly say ‘Oh man, I wish I didn’t have to grow up’. Some people never get it at all. But that’s what ‘growing up’ means. It means achieving adult understanding and true compassion and the capacity to grok hard concepts. It means being able to think critically and make hard decisions. It means having the capacity to take responsibility for yourself and to care for others. It means being capable of independence and interdependence, not just dependence.
‘Never grow up’ is an edict to stagnate. To remain infantile. The beautiful things about childhood: Awe and wonder and creativity and joy and appreciation of new and different things, wild optimism and absolute love, are not things that you have to lose when you grow up.
Everyone just read this comic and know that, by and large, children skew toward the bottom because they’re new at this whole ‘being alive’ and ‘being human’ thing. That doesn’t mean they’re bad or wrong; it means they need teaching and guidance in order to GROW UP. Childhood is not something to aspire to or a lauded state to be preserved.
Grow up. Grownups are better people. Grownups who preserve all the best things about childhood while growing past the infantile shit are the best people.
Also, stop and think about what you’re telling young people when you’re telling them not to grow up, that growing up is a trap, that life is not going to get any better.
Stop and think about the reality of the alternative and how prevalent it is.
Think about kids who DON’T grow up.
Normally, I think that the quotes on these dove chocolate wrappers are really cliche and cheesy. But this one kind of stuck with me. It says:
“You are exactly where you are supposed to be.”
And that made me really stop and think about how much I get discouraged when I feel like I haven’t achieved my goals or dreams yet. It made me realize that I really am exactly where I’m supposed to be, because a huge part of getting to the end is the journey on the path that takes you there. And I don’t need to feel discouraged because this path, where I am right now, is going to be an important part of my story someday.
So if you’re struggling because you feel like you’re stuck in that kind of not-quite-there-yet-but-not-just-starting-either phase then I encourage you to keep going, because you are exactly where you are supposed to be :)
So fucking amazingly cool
By chance you come across an academic journal article online that needs to be paid for (something like $25-$40), lots of times you can take the authors name from the article, google them for their email, and ask if they can send you their article b/c you’re interested in their work. More often than not, they’ll say ‘cool’ and send it as an attachment.
pennyloafing: Don’t let anyone try to shame you into presenting yourself in a way that doesn’t make you feel 100% confident and good about yourself. Rock your body and your aesthetic and let others rock theirs.
1. Every hour you spend doing Thing right now is an extra hour you will get to sleep. (◡‿◡✿)
2. Every hour you spend doing Thing right now is an extra hour you will get to read or talk with friends or watch that new episode of your favourite TV show or do something else you really love doing. ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ
3. You will have to do Thing eventually whether you like it or not! Face Thing head-on and get it over with. You will look back and say to yourself, wow, I am so glad I did Thing three hours ago. ∩( ・ω・)∩
4. You will spend the same amount of time doing Thing whether you do Thing now or at 4am. You might as well get Thing done earlier! ≧(´▽｀)≦
5. Every time you do not do Thing or do Thing really late when you’re tired and cranky and stressed out you feel like crap about yourself. If you do Thing now, you can avoid that stress and crankiness. Future you will be happy! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
6. It is midnight in a scary house and all of a sudden you see Thing! It is huge and scary and it has lots of teeth and you want to run away and hide. But then Thing meows and you realize that Thing was just a little kitty cat and you were seeing its shadow reflected on the wall. You should not dread doing Thing because your mind has made it seem a lot bigger and scarier than it actually is. Once you start working on Thing, you will realize how silly it is to make huge scary monsters out of kitty cats! ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ
7. Do not curl up into a ball and think about how horrible you are for not getting Thing done earlier! You are not alone. We all do it! We all procrastinate and avoid doing Thing. It is alright. For now, try to numb yourself and just focus on doing Thing. It will be okay. (*´・ｖ・)
8. Stop every half hour and remind yourself of all the reasons why you should not procrastinate and do Thing earlier. I promise you that you will be able to gather the courage to do Thing. Good luck! (´ω｀★)
I had this open to encourage me to do my term paper. It worked!
Daniell Koepke (via yasodhara)
MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS SO IMPORTANT FOR LITERALLY THE ENTIRE PLANET
Draw a circle. This is the center ring. In it, put the name of the person at the center of the current trauma. For Katie’s aneurysm, that’s Katie. Now draw a larger circle around the first one. In that ring put the name of the person next closest to the trauma. In the case of Katie’s aneurysm, that was Katie’s husband, Pat. Repeat the process as many times as you need to. In each larger ring put the next closest people. Parents and children before more distant relatives. Intimate friends in smaller rings, less intimate friends in larger ones. When you are done you have a Kvetching Order. One of Susan’s patients found it useful to tape it to her refrigerator.
Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere. She can kvetch and complain and whine and moan and curse the heavens and say, “Life is unfair” and “Why me?” That’s the one payoff for being in the center ring.
Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in larger rings.
When you are talking to a person in a ring smaller than yours, someone closer to the center of the crisis, the goal is to help. Listening is often more helpful than talking. But if you’re going to open your mouth, ask yourself if what you are about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn’t, don’t say it. Don’t, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don’t need advice. They need comfort and support. So say, “I’m sorry” or “This must really be hard for you” or “Can I bring you a pot roast?” Don’t say, “You should hear what happened to me” or “Here’s what I would do if I were you.” And don’t say, “This is really bringing me down.”
If you want to scream or cry or complain, if you want to tell someone how shocked you are or how icky you feel, or whine about how it reminds you of all the terrible things that have happened to you lately, that’s fine. It’s a perfectly normal response. Just do it to someone in a bigger ring.
Comfort IN, dump OUT.
One drop raises the sea